She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
