And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
