I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize
