so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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