your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
