But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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