I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
try to milk me bitch
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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