The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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