Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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