plz talk dirty to me
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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