i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
