I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
