we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I supernannyed him into submission
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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