He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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