Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
