I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
