Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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