so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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