i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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