Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
