Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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