Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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