I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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