How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
