Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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