The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
