wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
