she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
