There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
