Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
