I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
