Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
