yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
