its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
