the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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