I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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