Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Who died my cat blue again?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
