She's JV to your varsity
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
