I have demons in me.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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