if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
