I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
