I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
