why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
