I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Operation Purity has been aborted
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
