Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize