Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
the day after is always just damage control
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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