The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Randomize