i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Randomize
