She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
