I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
