Sry I called you an 8
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Randomize
