i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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