lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Your penis caused this!
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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