onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
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