we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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