it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
But we have bathrooms and they dont
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
