It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
