My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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